I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
