So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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