we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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