I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize