I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
