My hand turned me down
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
