Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
