even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
if only i could text you this smell
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
