carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
