Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
3pm strippers are depressing
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
