What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
