wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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