if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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