That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
