Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
