Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
