definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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