We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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