I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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