i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
