my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
