You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
