Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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