i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
