omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
