You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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