Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
foreskin is a definite game changer
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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