The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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