Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
