I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
