i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
