I can tuck mytits in my pants
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
