i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
