ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
