yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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