I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
