Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
