It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
