Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
