all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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