You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
