your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
