No awkward lesbian experiences without me
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
