I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
