bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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