i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
