Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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