Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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