her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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