When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
