Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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